Ram-Altman

A bash script that emails Sam Altman once a day to report the RAM he missed.

Your RAM, according to Sam Altman: “being used maybe 5% of the time”. He called having it in your own computer “quite terrible”. So now someone keeps him informed.

One email a day, each one different

If more than 10% of your RAM is available, Sam gets a note with your real figures. Messages rotate, so the joke gets old at a carefully managed pace.

To: Sam
Subject: You missed a spot

Hi Sam, Please don't be alarmed, but there is 8.6 GiB of RAM on my desk that isn't in a data centre. That's 56.2% of what's installed here, and as far as I can tell it has no plans today. Hoarding responsibly, A concerned RAM owner

Sample figures

Try it without emailing anyone

For Linux. A dry run reads your memory and prints the email it would have sent. It counts free RAM and reclaimable cache as available, using MemTotal - MemAvailable for used.

$ git clone https://github.com/IainKay/ram-altman.git$ cd ram-altman$ bash ram-altman.sh --dry-run

In fairness, he says the remarks were taken out of context, posted “i want you to have so much ram”, and briefly went by Ram Altman on X. That makes this script a daily progress report.